in a sweeter kind-of-way

Life passes by so quickly.

I can’t even keep up with the summer I am currently in, or the fact that I only have one more residential year at my beautiful college.

I have been laughing to myself lately in the face of revenge and pain.

My life a year ago versus where I currently stand today is unimaginable.

Slowly but surely I am continuing to break the chains of my OCD patterns that try to suffocate me.

I am getting closer to bouncing back from an episode and staying in touch with reality.

I look back and see that little steps have been made for the past two years that have gotten me to this place today.

Yes, even with a diagnosis of severe OCD and Bipolar 2 disorder, but it has sunk into my skin in a sweeter kind-of-way, in an acceptance kind-of-way.

After a long and hard episode, I have come to a place of being able to look back in the mirror and say that I love myself even when I see a girl with make up all over her face and extremely blood shot eyes who had just spent two hours screaming and crying on the floor, helplessly.

When I have heightened emotions where I feel jittery, twitchy, and anxious I have been able to receive advice from those who care deeply for me to, “just breathe.”

Sometimes that quote can be aggravating, but other times it’s exactly what I need to hear.

Life lately with God has been rather confusing as I continue to process why I have to be the way that I am, but I can feel it deep inside of me that each day I begin to see his reasons more and more.

He saves me over and over again.

He loves me when no one else is there.

He shows me his unforgettable power and beauty in the trees.

When the air refills my closing lungs, He is there.

When all the lights are off and paranoia settles within my head, He is there to cover me.

So all that to say, everyday that I wake up I feel so thankful because it means another day to tackle and prove stigma and myself wrong; I am a fully functioning human being.

I will accomplish my dreams.

We can’t run from Jesus; He desires a relationship with us.

There is nowhere we can go where He cannot find us.

He is always waiting with open arms, but the question will always remain, will we set our pride aside and receive them?

One thought on “in a sweeter kind-of-way

  1. I love this!

    Is there one of your photography pictures you could put on it so I can share it on your Mondays with Madi? (Or would you rather not?)

    Sent from my iPhone



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