Haze

I can’t seem to understand why I feel like I am always missing something?

What is this empty pit that lingers inside of me when life is so good.

There shouldn’t be sadness.

I hate the silence, when it is just me, myself, and my thoughts.

I would think that after going to counseling for quite sometime I would be okay with encountering myself alone but I still dread it.

There are so many things I expect to happen that never do.

It can be so damaging.

My heart lingers for things that don’t exist because our society makes us believe in the unrealistic and unobtainable.

My thoughts seem to disturb me with disruptive behavior.

My mind is fogged with what should have been. Who I could have been. And where I need to be.

The past pulls and grabs at my feet, but I keep my eyes straight ahead.

I know there will be a finish line.

I will reach the ultimate, but until then, I will thrive.

Whether I am enchanted or deceived my questions remain the same.

I want to know the answers.

Knowledge is so beautiful but it is destructive.

What if I know too much?

What if I know nothing at all?

My anticipation causes me anxiety.

My emotions are my worst enemy and my first love.

My thoughts swallow me after the sun goes down, reminding me of what hurts the most.

They bring comfort and peace, they know me.

But I won’t be fooled; for I know the heart is deceitful.

Exhaustion wants to settle in.

Apathy wants to take over.

But I know that somewhere, hope wants and will always sustain.

Advertisements